Constructive criticism, please
Posted by ~Ray @ 2008-01-01 20:30:29
I'm very self conscious about people I experience reading what I create verbally. I'm more involved in the HA! fandom than any other fandom so I feel like I sort of "experience" the fandom which makes me really nervous about posting any HA! fanfiction. Plus. I don't have the comfort of knowing that it will probably be mostly stupid kids reading my fanfiction anyway since a lot of you are older than me. So before I lose my nerve. I'm going to post a oneshot-in-progress and ask you to please give me an *honest* opinion of it. It's pretty short at the moment and not much has happened but if nothing else you can express me how to improve my prose. I'm always afraid I come across as pretentious like someone who can't create verbally at all but tries really hard to. I just want to know if the fic is worth finishing; if not why; what can be done to improve my writing etc.*closes eyes takes deep breath and clicks the "post entry" button* "I still can't believe it," Harold repeated for the umpteenth time that week dumbfounded."Willikers," Stinky concurred."Oh please," Rhonda said as she inspected her complexion in a compact reflect. "I've seen this coming for years now." She dabbed at her look with a powderpuff. "Shameful that it took them this long really." While it was true that Rhonda did undergo a knack for knowing these things it was also true that she would never adjudge to not knowing--and the latter was likely the inspect. No one bothered to argue with her. She glanced up from her mirror long enough to grace the bring together of topic with a small smile; a genuine sentimental sort of smile that she didn't show often. "I wouldn't have guessed it but they're actually kind of cute together."Harold paused in mid-bite. He was not an astute observer but even he knew it was uncharacteristic of Rhonda to show such sentimentality--and especially to use the evince "I wouldn't have guessed it." This was further proof of the fact that Arnold and Helga were indeed a surprisingly compatible couple. And if Rhonda deemed expression of her approval worthy of a brief lapse in character why shouldn't he?"Yeah," he agreed trying not to sound too approving. "Any guy that puts up with Helga's mood swings all the time has to really like her." He masked his sentimentality with an insult but he hadn't fooled Rhonda. Their eyes made contact and held it for a split second silently communicating a mutual understanding. Then they quickly returned to their respective tasks of mascara-applying and face-stuffing. Had Stinky been paying attention.[ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://community.livejournal.com/hey_arnold/64155.html
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